Many a client has told me they would get so much more done if it wasn’t for the meetings they had to go to. It reminds me of a personnel officer I had once who told me if it wasn’t for the people her job would be so much easier. Search for quotes about meetings and all you get is bad news – “To get something done a committee should consist of no more than three people, two of whom are absent.”[1] That just about sums up what the world seems to think about meetings. Yet we can’t stop organising them, attending them and moaning about them.
Or is this a case of good news is no news? Do millions of meetings happen every day that are well organised but we don’t hear about them because who wants to be heard saying: “I’ve just been to a humdinger of a meeting, whoever invented meetings as a way to get things done is a genius and I want to have their children”? Are there meetings that are a delicious delight not a boring burden?
Let’s face it, meetings are part of work, they are often the best and only way to get things done but they can only be those things if done well with a group of people ready to behave. So let’s remind ourselves of the basics, look at human behaviour in groups then look at your behaviour in meetings.
The basics
If you are running or attending a formal meeting that’s a legal requirement it’s an itch that only a meeting will scratch so you’ll just have to put up and shut up and skip to the section on behaviour because that’s where your issues will be. If you’re flirting with a meeting for any other reason just make sure you really know what you’re getting yourself and your guests into, no false promises, no expectations dashed on the plate of custard creams and no regrets the next morning. Ask yourself if your aim will be best served by a meeting or could you get a good result on your own, through an email or by a few targeted phone calls.
Next, what is the purpose of your meeting and its good practice to state this on the invitation so everyone knows why they are coming. If you are on the invite for a meeting check the purpose, are you the best person to attend? Try not to go just because you want to catch up on the gossip and the biscuits are better on the fourth floor. One of your staff might find it great development to attend or is more informed on an issue.
Then you need a PhD in agenda writing. Think about what you must have done by the end of the meeting or you’re going to be in a heap of trouble – put that at the beginning. The things that really should be done need to go in the middle and the nice to do can go at the end. See, simple really. So why are agendas never shaped like that? Because we’re human, we like to do the easy things first and hope the important and probably difficult things will sort of shuffle off the mortal coil of the meeting table never to be tackled and you wonder why you think meetings never achieve anything. Some people put timings against each item to denote their priority which can be very useful and look really clever.
So, we have a reason to have a meeting, a defined purpose, a stunning agenda and we’ve got the right people there. We’ll also make sure all the logistics are right, the minute taker, the notes beforehand, the venue is booked and the biscuits are on the plate. What could possibly go wrong? People that’s what, they come along and ruin all your best plans so let’s see what can be done.
Handling the group
Let’s look at the group behaviour first. Tuckman and his group dynamics[2] comes in very useful for meetings. People need to Form first, a cup of coffee, a chat about the weather, quick introductions around the table all help to allow individuals to find their place in the group and settle down. Then comes the Storming phase, differences of opinion are actively sought, expressions of feelings allowed, maybe some contentious issues aired all in the spirit of getting the group through to Norming. Allocation of tasks are useful here, confirmation of expertise or accountability help everyone see the role they and others are taking. Finally Performance, sending everyone out on a high to do the things that have been agreed.
Role of the chair
That all sounds super but you haven’t met George from finance who goes on and on and is signal for me to pick my nails. The chair of the meeting needs to be gracious with people and ruthless with time. If you are the chair know whose opinions and expertise you want at points in the meeting and bring those people in if they don’t speak up. Be ready with some suitable phrases to quieten down those who have forgotten to stop speaking, try “thank you for your very valid points which I’ve noted now we really must move on”, short hand for “shut up, we’ve heard enough drivel from you now you egomaniacal pain in the neck”. Such is the skill of the chair.
A look at you
And so to you my friend, yes, you the one reading this thinking if there was an X-Factor for participants at meetings you’d win it hands down with no vote rigging. How’s your behaviour at meetings? Check yourself against these classics. Winning at all costs – do you have to have the final say, nail your colleagues to the wall, get your idea adopted? Not listening – you’re too busy looking at your watch, writing your shopping list or doodling to listen to anything so you can’t really contribute and when you do you’re repeating what’s been said five minutes ago. How about making excuses – it’s never your fault you haven’t done what you said you would do, it’s her, his or the dog’s fault. Finally, are you one of those that stand by the coffee machine after the meeting muttering all the things you would have loved to have said if only everyone would have shut up, observed a reverent silence while you said what you wanted to say and didn’t interrupt you? You know who you are and the solution is to catch yourself, sort yourself and behave yourself!
So finally, create a robust framework around your meeting, create an atmosphere that means good work will be done and don’t create a mist of misery with your bad meeting behaviour.
[1] Robert Copelan
[2] Bruce Tuckman's 1965 Forming Storming Norming Performing Team - development model